Flowers Die

do not want

Archive for the ‘bitching’ Category

Difficulties

nekonoai on Jul-24-2017

Warning: this post may contain gross things and a bunch of complaining concerning my pregnancy. Continue at your own risk.

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Schedules and frustrations

nekonoai on Jan-6-2017

So we’re transferring these two little guys on Feb 1st. (No, I do not yet know the sex, and I might not look at the sex even when I do get the paper with the report, because that’s really not all that important to me.)

I’ve scheduled my bloodwork and my ultrasound/lining check for this month…

Trying to schedule some acupuncture and getting frustrated with not getting a reply. I emailed her first before the holiday week and then again today since the holidays are now officially over. I get really antsy and unfocused when I don’t get responses on things. I don’t want to have to go to a new place and start all over… but I really like to make my appointments so that I have them. It helps with my anxiety. Bleh.

I’m supposed to try being stress free during this time, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. We’re going through a major transition at work and of course everything has to be done last minute (by me) with nobody answering my questions and then having to figure out what happened when things break for things that I didn’t have a hand in setting up in the first place. So of course, my phone is ringing nonstop, my email is stuffed with ZOMG THIS ARE BORKEN, and I’m about a month behind on doing my usual, regular work with nobody to help me since they haven’t found a replacement for my assistant.

I keep telling myself that I’m only one person. I make lists and do things one at a time so that I can keep track of what’s done and what still needs to be done, because I wouldn’t remember otherwise.

My diet has gone to shit. I’m eating crap more often than healthy things because crap is faster and I’m exhausted and don’t feel like putting forth the effort it takes to cook something meaningful. I really wish my husband could cook, but he just leaves it all on me, and will only offer to make himself a sandwich or something when I tell him I’m worn out and don’t feel like cooking. Fine, but what good does that do ME? Does that get me something decent for dinner or for lunch the next day if I need it? *sigh*

I’m so frustrated by everything, and these meds I’m on are magnifying things. I feel like everything is spiraling out of my control.

What’s going on!?!

nekonoai on Jul-2-2009

Well, I got a trojan from one of the ads on The pirate bay, and ended up reformatting my main drive.

Then I had issues reinserting my databases into mysql, but finally figured out I could do it table by table (which took a minute, but actually worked!). If you notice anything behaving funkily, please let me know.

I’m working on a new front page/portal for my website, but having trouble deciding on a layout.

Neko chewed through the earpiece on my new pair of glasses. >.< But I bought the insurance, so I’m entitled to 3 frame replacements in the first year. For free. I just gotta get to the mall. Until then, I’m wearing my old pair again. πŸ˜›

My baker’s rack came on monday. Gotta finish up the kitchen over the weekend and get that set up.

Also need to work on cleaning out the foyer.

Also need to re-train miyuki because she’s had a couple of accidents lately. Gonna lock her in the bathroom with the potty for awhile until she goes. We do not poo in the back hallway. I think this might be related to her recent illness, so I’m not being too harsh on her at this point. But since that is almost cleared up, I will not tolerate it in future.

nesting…

nekonoai on Apr-24-2009

This weekend I will be performing nesting rituals… well, mostly cleaning out the nest rituals. The newΒ slide out drawer basket thingiesΒ came for my kitchen, so I’ll be cleaning out the unmanageable area ™ and making it more usable. I should probably clean out the fridge and freezer as well, so I can find what foods I can cook during my storm of cooking that is slated for Sunday.

Yes, I’m starting up my weekend storm of cooking again. It just makes life that much easier during the week if I have everything made up and frozen or sitting portioned up in the fridge ready to be dropped onto dinner tray or into bento box. Then I can relax when I come home and not have to constantly think about providing balanced meals.

Beyond the kitchen, I have a ton of other work to do that I can’t seem to get started on. My procrastination, let me show you it. Every weekend, I start, but I get distracted and then stop. I have zero motivation to do anything. πŸ˜›

It’s supposed to be hot and gorgeous this weekend, so I’m just gonna fling open all my windows that have screens on them…. 2 of them have broken screens and I don’t dare open them for fear of escape… and just fly around the house cleaning with the music blaring all over the place. I at least want to finish up the kitchen and get a good dent made in my bedroom. Then next weekend maybe I can get to the bathroom and the living room. Gotta decide what’s going and get it OUT. I’m told there are places that will pick up stuff you don’t want anymore… clothes, stuff, etc. Perhaps I will just start putting that stuff down in my back hallway… which means getting the stuff out of my back hallway too… >.< siiiiigh.

I really wish I hadn’t suggested mom move in with me… All this extra clutter in my already pretty full apartment is just for the birds. Add ot the fact that she isn’t even REALLY up here, just her crap is.

Hmm… Maybe instead of my bedroom, I’ll clean the entryway so I can get into the attic to take some of this stuff up there. Stuff she wants to “keep” but we don’t currently have a use for. I really hate that. I have to go around behind her back to get rid of broken and dirty things. Β It doesn’t help matters much that she was living with a guy who would “find” stuff and bring it home. We went through bags and bags of stuff, and I designated most of it to go to good will or another such organization, because we don’t need it and I don’t want it taking up space. I HATE having boxes around my house. I won’t live that way. πŸ˜›

Bitch bitch bitch.

Anyway, I’m actually in a good mood, I just wish the clock would move a little faster so I could go home. πŸ˜›

Life in chaos

nekonoai on Jan-22-2009

I’m in the midst of a gigantic clean-out organization campaign at home that isn’t really going as well as I’d hoped, but things are getting better.

I just can’t seem to stay motivated to do anything, mostly because I lack the space to put things that I need to keep. My apartment SUCKS for cabinet, counter, and closet space. I literally have ONE closet in my house that is like a long hallway about as wide across as a yardstick, so there’s only one bar at the END of this hallway about as wide as a yardstick. So I pretty much only keep “good clothes” or “clothes I wear to work” in this closet, and everything else is either in plastic bins or in a dresser that’s falling apart. It’s been through 4 moves, it’s old!

I also have books and dvds and other stuff that belongs on shelves ALL OVER the house, because I lack shelves. Good news, though, I had Lowe’s ship me two nice sized shelving units that I will put together this weekend. they’ll be going in my bedroom and will house some books, as well as a few other things that I want in my room, but don’t belong on my desk.

Then, there’s the added bonus of my mom’s stuff up in my apartment STILL IN BOXES AFTER 4 months! Since she needs (and can’t seem to bring herself to buy) a split boxspring for her queen bed, she hasn’t been up much, which is royally pissing me off, because I want those boxes and bags and generally shitty atmosphere TAKEN CARE OF LIEK NAO! So, I’m really close to taking matters into my own hands on that front.

I already have 2 or 3 bags full of clothing and toys that needs to go to goodwill and I know I have TONS more that I can get rid of. I really want to gather as much as possible and then call them to pick it up.

I joined a paperback swap website online to offload some of these old books that I have no interest in. I figure, they shouldn’t be taking up valuable real estate where books I actually enjoy should be. So far, I’ve gotten rid of 3 books, and hope to get rid of more. I’ve also gotten a few new books that have been out of print for ages. Since I need to get rid of books to get credits, getting new ones will be kept to a minimum. πŸ˜‰

I also bought a nice sized dvd cabinet off El Perko. It holds like 300 dvds or something. Most of my dvds are in there now, and there’s tons of space to spare, so I just need to shove the rest of the dvds that are in boxes or littering my desk and bedroom in there. I don’t know if I’ll get anal about it and alphabetize, but…

Then there’s the added bonus of not having a vacuum. That’s on my list of things to buy with my tax money. I want a nice bagless one. I used to have a dirtdevil bagless one, but it got to the point where it just wasn’t sucking anymore, and then it caught on fire and ended up in the trash. πŸ˜› I’m hoping I can find a decent one inexpensively.

My kitchen. *sigh* My kitchen is the most messed up floorplan ever. The sink has no adjacent counterspace and it on the wetwall with my shower on the other side of the wall. I have no dishwasher, and my dish drainer is on a plastic rolling drawers thing with a towel under it that gets swapped out once a week to prevent mold. My counterspace is literally a yardstick and a third. (I’m using the yardstick as the measure because I have one in my office LOL) Half of said space is taken up by a microwave. Half of the space left is taken up by a crock pot. Which leaves me with NO SPACE to cut veggies or do general food prep. Sometimes I put my cutting board on top of the microwave, but that’s really not convenient. Plus, the countertop itself is this NASTY yellow tile with grout that looks dirty no matter how much bleach and cleanser I use on it. Plus some of the tiles are broken. It just looks gross. This area has 5 drawers built in under the half with the microwave that are full of JUNK that I must go through and toss or put somewhere more productive. The other side has a cabinet that is missing one of its doors because it fell off. I really hate this cupboard because every bit of dirt, dust, cathair, etc gets in there and is hard to get out because the bottom shelf is sort of sunken, which is odd. I mostly keep appliances that don’t get used much down there, and pots and pans. But I hate it because it just seems really gross.

I would love to just tear out this whole section and rebuild it. The drawers themselves are decent, but dingy. The countertop would be better if it were a solid surface that’s easier to clean. I’d like to turn the other underneath portion to maybe something with large sliding drawers that I could put my pots and appliances in.

There is also a broken fridge taking up space in my kitchen. The people who delivered my new fridge refused to take the old one out, which kind of pissed me off. If I got rid of that, I’d probably get a baker’s rack for that area. It would have a lower profile and I could use it for food prep, as well as a place to put spice racks. Carol has two of these and they got wire baskets hanging off theirs holding all their spices and sauce packets and stuff. That would be awesome, because then I would be able to find everything and wouldn’t end up with 10 bottles of italian seasoning because I couldn’t find it last time I was looking for it.

Getting rid of it ain’t gonna be easy. I gotta get a couple of strong guys to get it out and down the stairs. Since I only know ONE guy in town, it’s gonna be awhile. I don’t want to let anyone (I don’t know) into my house until the place looks more decent.

Aside from the front room with all my mom’s crap in it, the biggest challenge is my bedroom. Before mom moved in, I had to clean out the front room, and most of the stuff that was in there that was mine ended up in my bedroom in boxes and bins. I’m actually starting to have sleeping problems from all the lack of proper airflow around the room. Most of the boxes are books, shelf stuff, dvds, bento stuff, and other things that need proper places.

To make life more cramped, I also moved the horridly orange chair, my end table, my small gaming tv, and a plastic 3 drawer dresser into my room along with my bed (which is between a twin and a full, but not quite either–it’s from the 70’s), my desk, my round end table, Β and my printer stand… my two computers… And this room isn’t all that big to begin with. The front room that I put mom in is bigger, but I actually like this smaller room because it’s easier to keep warm and cool during those months when you needs things warmer or cooler. The bed is in the corner under the one window. The window has a dark flannel sheet over it. It keeps out the light and cold.

Oh yeah, I don’t have real curtains anywhere. πŸ˜› My bathroom has blinds that are actually a few inches too short, but meh. I just never have enough money together to get anything proper. But I don’t really like my windows blocked. I like being able to see out. Since I’m on the second floor, no one can see in easily, so I’m not really worried about peepers. I also don’t walk around naked. LOL

To make things more fun, my toilet seat broke yesterday. The lid broke off. I’m hoping this is easy enough to replace. I think I’ve done it before. I’m just wondering what would make the plastic snap the way it did. I can’t remember if it’s the original seat from when I moved in or if I had replaced it once already. The last time I replaced a terlet seat it was because the seat itself had cracked and would pinch my tush. πŸ˜€

So, yeah, there’s a lot to do and I’m sure I can’t do it all myself. πŸ˜› But I’m going to get done everything I can do myself. Perhaps Mark will help me with some cabinetry issues over the summer, if he isn’t otherwise involved.