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Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

getting sucked in

nekonoai on Sep-3-2009

Getting pulled into roleplaying again. This time in a Shadowrun based system. I’ve been trying to think of what kind of character I want to play all week, and it ain’t coming easy. I mean, some ideas come easy, but then there are those ideas that I don’t know are even possible. LIke I had the idea to play a half-breed, but I’m not sure if the DM will even allow this. I also don’t know if any of my technology ideas will even work the way I want them to. Plus, I haven’t even decided on a name yet. Plus, I’m hoping that no one else has decided to play a Hacker or Technomancer type, because it will suck having to scrap and restart.

I got a PDF of the sourcebook from Hunter, and I’ve been reading through it today to get a feel for the world. It kind of reminds me a little bit of Dark Angel, cept with more supernatural type elements. Maybe second season Dark Angel when all the freaks came out. LOL Cept, hopefully less sucky. At any rate, it should be entertaining once I figure out what to do and calm down a bit. Gotta settle into character.

I’ve started saving up to buy a laptop. Yeah, after years of saying WTF do I need that for? I want one. I found a nice one on newegg that should do all I need it to. I should be able to have enough saved up by december, as long as nothing unfortunate happens. *sigh* I swear, if I was the praying type, I’d be on my knees 24-7 these days. I hope things work out favorably for all involved parties.

Anyway, back to the game. I’m kind of torn between wanting to play a human and an elf. I have a feeling the elf will win out, because it’s what Hunter wants me to play. I already know she has an aversion to guns. Knives are ok and she wears a blade shaped like a lightning bolt attached to her belt, looking like an innocent enough accessory.

In other news, I’ve been on a rather harsh emotional rollercoaster this week. I totally blame hormones and the moon. One minute I’m a raving bitch to everyone in the vicinity, and the next I’m like Niagara Falls. Every so often I’ll get what I’ve dubbed the Kanashimi Wave. Just this wave of sadness will crash into me and squeeze at me for a moment, making me feel like crying, and then it lets go. I experienced this yesterday morning while I was walking to the bus stop. It happened for no good reason, but it was harsh. I’m hoping that it lets up over the weekend. If I get crashed into by Kanashimi Wave in front of Hunter, I don’t know how I’ll handle it. *sigh* He’s such a sweet boy. I don’t want him to worry about me. He’s got enough going on right now. Man, what’s with this selflessness? Let’s be real here. You want him to hold you tight while you cry your brains out for no good reason, you silly girl, and you know it!

Sometimes I wonder if I should go back to school for psychology.. and then I think… school? blech. 😛 I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to pay for it. But there ain’t so such thing as a free education.

Weekend Update…

nekonoai on Aug-31-2009

The weekend was awesomely wonderfully awesome, despite me needing severe decompression therapy for a little bit. Don’t really know what was up there. Wanted to sing, but contained myself mostly. I need a better speaker system for my precious. Something portable that doesn’t suck too hard. I should have bought that little boombox bag from Spencer’s. Oh well. Maybe I’ll head over there again sometime and see if they have one. Or else I’ll see if they have something like that at the walmart. I got my other little boombox backpack from there.

Played some Lego Star Wars on Hunter’s PS3, while he played Champions Onine. That game is so fun. Actually made it through the pod race the first time without crashing once. Very strange for me.  Usually I crash all over the place. I’ve become so focused lately in some things, yet unfocused in others. I wonder if I’ve gotten to the point where I can write again.

I really need to get a laptop. I found one that looks kind of nice and will work for what I need it to do. It should be able to handle Sims, and whatever else I throw at it. Gonna save up for awhile. Might take saving for 8 or 9 paychecks before I’ll be able to get it. Unless I get help from mom, but I don’t really want to ask her for money for a laptop. That would be cheesy. Besides, she’d probably flip out if she found out I payed that much for anything. 😛 Nevermind that I’ve actually been shopping around to find the best price for what I need. Oooh, this one actually looks better and is cheaper. I certainly don’t need no 18 inch screen.

o/` gonna paint your wagon… gonna paint it fine…  gonna use oil-based paint… cause the wood is pine… o/`

In other news, I’ve been invited to join the geeky inner circle. There was a resounding JOIN US from both the Dungeon Master and Hunter. Since they’re starting a brand new game from next week and starting a new system as well. Of course, I’m a little apprehensive. The only game of this type I’ve ever played was the one off of Red Dwarf in which I played a Kryten style mechanoid who ended up with a humorous groinal rotisserie attachment which we caught a polymorph chicken on. While this was a hilarious stroke of brilliance… I’m not sure if I’ll be any good at this.

I kind of enjoy sitting outside the circle, just listening. I find the stories to be very entertaining. Most of the players are quite imaginative and really into their characters. Sometimes they’re downright insane, and I try not to laugh too hard (they’re usually laughing too, no worries) so as not to disrupt their game. Of course, I’m also free to do whatever I want. I generally play my psp or read. This week I was going through games on my supercard using Hunter’s DS, to see which ones I wanted to dump or keep. I have way too many DS games. Most of them are crap, but there are a lot of good ones too.

I’ve asked for materials so I can at least learn about this stuff. Perhaps I’ll think about making a character this week. I know that Hunter really wants me to. He does love playing with me, the silly boy.  I must admit that I do love his mind.

I guess we’ll see if I can get it together to make a character by next weekend.

week two.

nekonoai on Aug-27-2009

275. I blame being naughty over the weekend. Ate too much good food and didn’t exercise. Bad Sile. *spank* Well, I did lose one. So I guess it’s better than gaining!

Got some new clothes in the mail yesterday. Shirts mostly. Boobtacular ones. Boobtacular shirts for the win! I wish i had more of these shirts in every color! well… every color that looks good on me. They’re so comfy too. until some jerk starts staring at my rack! Why does rack staring still make me uncomfortable? I don’t mind when Hunter does it. lol Well, I do blush, but quietly… Who am I to deny my pet that which he enjoys?  *grins* 

Watched half of a strange movie last night called Tokyo Decadence. “Erotic sex or dangerous fantasy? In the most lavish penthouses, visible only through the keyholes, there exists a dangerous and erotic world. High-paid prostitutes who specialize in high-stakes games make the rounds.” It mainly follows one girl through her discovery of SM play. There’s a lot of drugs in the movie, mostly coke, but I guess it was like that in 91? There’s one interesting scene where a client makes the girl stand in a big window of a hotel room and shake her ass like a horny businesswoman while taking off her panties very slowly. He makes her do this over and over again until she gets it perfectly right (and she ends up rather randy in the process too). He’s really into the humiliation. And I think she really gets into it as well. Very strange movie. I’ll watch the rest of it tonight. Probably won’t be keeping it, though. It’s a bit over the top.

I can’t wait for the weekend, though Hunter’s been a bit off the past couple of days. Probably mainly from his job ending and having to search for a new one. I know first hand how stressful that can be.

Woah. I was early?

nekonoai on Aug-25-2009

I was all set to post my sad weekly results, and then noticed that I had updated on THURSDAY last week. So thursday will be the day, not tuesday. Which kind of makes me happy, because I was bad over the weekend. Not getting enough exercise and eating out too much. Bleh. I’m hoping Thursday’s results will be better than this morning’s. Didn’t gain! That’s all I care about.

Hunter told me this morning that he needs to work on himself as well, because his pants were tight. I thought of one kind of exercise that we could do together, but then went to take a cold shower and didn’t tell him. 😉 I may give him an avi of what I’ve been using lately. The two mile should be good, I think. It takes like 30 minutes to complete and he can do it whenever. Guys have it so much easier, though. It’s really unfair.  I have to work out two or three times a day to see results. He could probably just do once a week and be done with it. 😛 I gotta get him motivated to do stuff on the weekend. Maybe we could go walk around somewhere. Hmm. I wonder what the weather will be like this weekend. Maybe we could walk around a park or something til our feet fall off. Or go eye shopping again. That’s always fun. We certainly won’t be eating out much this weekend. Probably just on Saturday. mmm Amiel’s. I was good and only got a small. That more than did me until dinner time. I might not get onions this time, though.

This song makes me happy. \:D/ I need to get more of their music. 🙂

Two Hearts…

nekonoai on Aug-23-2009

I’ve been listening to a lot of David Arkenstone lately… Haven’t really listened for long periods of time since high school when I used to meditate a lot more. DA is really good for turning the floor to water.

The music’s taken on a whole new meaning recently, as I’ve been using it as BGM for my roleplay with Hunter. Which really isn’t a big surprise because I have used it in the past during writing sessions, and the imagery in the music really helps my words to flow better.

This weekend was wonderful. I’d like a lifetime of weekends like this from now on. Putting in my order now! Went to the mall and got my glasses repaired for free! It’s nice having matching nosepads and a non-chewed ear thing. Also got a new wallet for cheap. Not sure if I really like it, though. I should have looked at it more carefully. Meh. It’ll do for now. It holds moneys and cards. What more do I really need anyway? It’s Harry Potter. LOL Pretty generic Hogwarts crest. Gryffindor coloring, of course. It’s slightly smaller than my old Tuxedo Kamen one, which is good. Didn’t find any of the books I was looking for, which kind of blows. I’ll have to get them off Amazon or something. Thankfully, they’re pretty cheap there, and free shipping ftw!

Had some BBQ. Awesome BBQ is awesome. Made some new friends (I hope). They were also awesome and made of win! It was really nice to be accepted right away instead of feeling like I was on trial, like usually happens. I felt completely comfortable, safe, and one of them. I never met any of my ex’s friends… well… ONE of them… but he wasn’t someone that my ex hung out with regularly and I wasn’t in the same place with them at the same time. This friend I was also friends with and he came to visit me at school. He was from New Zealand. Haven’t heard from him in years. Life is funny like that. I much prefer friends who actually WANT to be around you as often as possible. They become more like family that way. This crew kind of gave me the same feeling I get when I hang out with Thug and Gyp… and Jag and Aeoea. I like that feeling. 🙂 It are happy times.

I’m running on a lot of happy lately. Thank you, Hunter. I’m glad you changed your mind once you got inside my head. I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. And my cheeks hurt from smiling.

Coming back down to reality kind of sucks a little bit. At least it’s cooler tonight so I can make meatloaf for dinner. I’ve been hankerin my meatloaf something fierce. Gonna try to make enough to freeze in portions for bento, etc. Maybe even some for next weekend… in case it’s another weekend like this weekend. Gotta not eat out for awhile. It gets pretty expensive after awhile. Hopefully next weekend will be home cookin’.

Started a new book over the weekend as well, really liking it so far. But that’s for another time. I guess I should do some laundry so I have actual clothes to wear on monday. LOL

I’ll leave you with this. Something silly I found. An actual DA pv. Talis the Messenger. One of the few songs that actually has lyrics. Most of his stuff is instrumentals with amazing visualization properties. I love the song, but the video made me LOL for him wearing tights and carrying a mandolin. David, you so craycray!  I really need to find the rest of his music.