A couple of people have asked me why I announced my pregnancy as early as I did.
Well, it’s hardly easy to pretend to not have any information when you’ve been sharing your infertility journey right along. After I lost my first baby as an ectopic, I decided that I wouldn’t remain silent about the process. I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t. I think that I’ve educated a lot of people around me as to just how difficult this whole babymaking thing can be. (1 in 8 women struggle with infertility.) I know that a lot of people choose to be silent with this process for whatever reason, but I just couldn’t. I’m not an attention whore by any stretch of the imagination. But Nobody really knew why I was suddenly in the hospital nearly dying… Until I was able to share my story.
So, this time around… After enduring all the treatments and having this last one actually succeed… A few people guessed early that I was pregnant (the more nosy ones, you know who you are, and I love you anyways), but I told them that I would announce when it was appropriate. For me, the appropriate time was when I got the first ultrasound picture after all the blood tests were done.
This was at 7 weeks. This is when I saw two little beans pulsing away on opposite sides of my baby factory. This was after a scare the weekend before where I had a massive blood glob fall out of me and I panicked and called the doctor and was told to lay in bed all weekend and come in on Monday. The glob was only my body making room for a second little bean to nestle in.
I have to admit I had mixed feelings when I saw that there were two. We both knew it could happen, because we put in both of our genetically normal embryos in me. I had a feeling that at least the one that was popping out of the shell and sending out feelers to the world would attach, but I didn’t know about the other one. Seeing both of them in there, beating away strong and fast, it was amazing.
How could I not share that with everyone? So I did.
Yes… 7 weeks is hella early to be sharing a pregnancy. Yes, most people wait until week 14 (the start of 2nd trimester) at least before saying anything. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be alone again if something bad happened (nothing has so far, knock on wood). I didn’t want to be silent about any of this. I still don’t.
Pregnancy is not glorious or glamourous.
It’s disgusting… I barf a LOT… I’ve broken out in acne on my face and back… I had to cut my hair really short just so that I could manage washing it in the morning because showers make me barf too… Oh, and I’m constantly peeing.
It’s uncomfortable… my clothes, especially pants, stopped fitting me correctly around week 9 and I started using a bella band (those are so awesome, totally get a couple if you get pregnant)… and now I’m looking for looser pants that I had put away a year ago… I have TWO bra extenders on my bra and it’s still feeling restrictive to my breathing…And it doesn’t help that my boobs HURT. OMG!
It’s hard to get comfortable in bed… if I lay on my back too long, my heart kind of goes crazy for a second, I guess reminding me that I should be on my side. I just bought one of those pregnancy pillows… It’ll get here thursday, I hope it was worth it.
It’s made me super emo… I cry over EVERYTHING. Everything gives me the feels.
I’m constantly exhausted. I wake up fully rested, yet exhausted. Yes, it makes no sense. And if I don’t get to nap during the day (because work), I feel lousy.
I’ve been told that pregnancy symptoms with twins are twice as bad as with a single baby, but I really don’t have anything to compare it with, and probably never will.
The one majorly positive thing that has come from being pregnant is that my depression has completely disappeared. Yes, I’m miserable, but I’m happy about it? I’ve struggled with bad depression for a very long time, and since I found out that it worked this time, I’ve had none of that. Of course, I worry that I will come down with a bad case of post partum depression when these lovely baby hormones have worked their way out of my system, but I’m hoping that I don’t. At least I know that my husband is a rock who is there for me no matter what.
This jerk comes after me and cleans up my vom while I’m still hurking into a sink (if it’s fallen on the floor). He’s washed my laundry and my coat several million times after I’ve barfed in the car and all over myself. He’s helped me cook with his horrid knife skills when I couldn’t stand the smell of raw meat. And he’s there every night with a back rub if I need it. He deals with my mood swings… I love him so much.
Yes, I am happy and excited to be pregnant. I am also miserable. These things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. People are constantly showing only the positive side to everything. Only the happy smiles with their baby bumps. Where is the real picture?
And yes, I also revealed the gender already as well. Why? Because I had it in a sealed envelope since the day they were implanted (that’s part of the fun of having had genetic testing, gender is part of the chromosomes, after all). Normally, you don’t find out until an ultrasound at around 20 weeks… but why wait? I finally looked at it at the end of March. “HONEY! We’re having girls!” How many times did I say that? Super excitedly… Sooo many times. And every time I passed the bookshelf in the kitchen, where the paper was still laying I would say it again.
Now, I would have been just as happy had they been both boys or one of each…As long as they’re healthy! But I always saw myself with girls, even though I did have a boy’s name all picked out. Why are girls names so hard? Tom is very happy too because he wanted girls as well. I can’t wait for him to hold his babies. ^_^
So, yeah, I announced things early. I want everyone to ride this rollercoaster with me.