Flowers Die

do not want

Transfer… #3

Sile on Feb-1-2017

Transferred my two perfect little guys today.

I was super excited when they gave me the photo that one of them was REALLY popping out of his shell. I feel really good about it this time. Trying to remain super hopeful.

They gave me the sealed envelope with my genetics results in it. It also has the gender testing results. I am not looking at it, which is why I asked for it to be put in a sealed envelope.

Dr. M did my procedure. She was the one who sucked out my eggs this last time. She’s really nice. :)

Afterward, I went for my post transfer acupuncture. I’m really liking acupuncture. Call me crazy. It’s relaxing, just laying there listening to the music while someone pokes needles into various points. And no, they don’t hurt.

Now I’m just going to relax… eat some pineapple later on (Yeah I’m doing the pineapple thing as well this time, got a fresh one and cut it up)… and just relax. Watch season 11 of Red Dwarf and who knows what else. I may even nap.

I find out the results on 2/11.

…and her husband wanted nothing to do with it.

Sile on Jan-8-2017

I had a dream last night that a very dear friend of mine had a beautiful baby daughter…

…because my brain hates me.

Depression mode in full swing.

Schedules and frustrations

Sile on Jan-6-2017

So we’re transferring these two little guys on Feb 1st. (No, I do not yet know the sex, and I might not look at the sex even when I do get the paper with the report, because that’s really not all that important to me.)

I’ve scheduled my bloodwork and my ultrasound/lining check for this month…

Trying to schedule some acupuncture and getting frustrated with not getting a reply. I emailed her first before the holiday week and then again today since the holidays are now officially over. I get really antsy and unfocused when I don’t get responses on things. I don’t want to have to go to a new place and start all over… but I really like to make my appointments so that I have them. It helps with my anxiety. Bleh.

I’m supposed to try being stress free during this time, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. We’re going through a major transition at work and of course everything has to be done last minute (by me) with nobody answering my questions and then having to figure out what happened when things break for things that I didn’t have a hand in setting up in the first place. So of course, my phone is ringing nonstop, my email is stuffed with ZOMG THIS ARE BORKEN, and I’m about a month behind on doing my usual, regular work with nobody to help me since they haven’t found a replacement for my assistant.

I keep telling myself that I’m only one person. I make lists and do things one at a time so that I can keep track of what’s done and what still needs to be done, because I wouldn’t remember otherwise.

My diet has gone to shit. I’m eating crap more often than healthy things because crap is faster and I’m exhausted and don’t feel like putting forth the effort it takes to cook something meaningful. I really wish my husband could cook, but he just leaves it all on me, and will only offer to make himself a sandwich or something when I tell him I’m worn out and don’t feel like cooking. Fine, but what good does that do ME? Does that get me something decent for dinner or for lunch the next day if I need it? *sigh*

I’m so frustrated by everything, and these meds I’m on are magnifying things. I feel like everything is spiraling out of my control.

The results of the genetic screening

Sile on Dec-21-2016

Yesterday afternoon, my doctor called me with the results of the genetic screening I had done on my 9 embryos.

#1 – normal

#2 – abnormal: missing chromosomes 8 and 15.

#3 – normal

#4 – abnormal: missing chromosome 3

#5 – abnormal: extra chromosome 19

#6 – abnormal: complex abnormal (meaning there was more than 2 things wrong with it)

#7 – abnormal: missing chromosome 19

#8 – abnormal: missing chromosome 14

#9 – abnormal: extra chromosomes 14 and 16


So we have 2 normal embryos ready to use. And the doctor says these are really well developed as well… whatever that means.

Now it’s up to us to decide if we want to transfer one or both of them into me.

I’m honestly inclined to transfer them both into me, even though the potential risks involved with having twins (gestational diabetes and all of the fun red flags that are associated with that) are greater than just having a singleton. The doctor is willing to transfer both of them, because of all the trouble we’ve had in the past. I would transfer both of them in the hopes that at least one of them would stick. If both of them stick, then I will have to act accordingly, which also includes leaving work earlier than expected, and probably some dietary restrictions, if need be (I’m already pretty durn good on that end).

What do you think?

and now… we wait… again…

Sile on Dec-15-2016

So I just called the office to confirm, and only 9 of the 15 made it to suitable blast phase and were biopsied and frozen. So only 9 are being sent to the lab. So our genetics total will be less than $3000. Whew. So it doesn’t COMPLETELY wipe out my nest egg. Just mostly.

Faxed over the paperwork to the genetics place, so that’s all done. Putting a copy with my other fertility stuff, and asking for an itemized receipt for tax time. I’m hoping we can count all of these expenses on our taxes. Tom said I could have the refund for my account this year, which I would be super grateful for. He’s a good hubsand. <3

9 embryos are better than the 5 we got last time. Now we need to hope and be positive that most, if not all, of our little guys are “normal” so we can move forward with implantation next year.

Got everything crossed.


Peace and love.